I went to a new grocery store this morning and there was a bit of confusion

When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down facing me." Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and security alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future...